Into and Out of the Fog

Years passed. I had a family. I worked in a job in which I learned skills, but couldn't engage my heart. Those years, looking back on them, were so still. I spent time playing minesweeper! Even though I had a beautiful daughter...things were dark. I didn't know my role...and I wasn't happy. There was no objective in life. Those years were very, very empty.

If I think about them too long I feel sadness and wish I could change who I was then. But if I knew then what I know now, I would not be here. And so it goes.

I remember making proposals to my husband so I could go back to school. And when I was told to wait, I waited. I woke up and remembered where I received my spiritual strength and I went back to church. And then things began to change. I didn't know that everything would change.

We moved to the north end. Eventually my husband finished school and I prepared to go back. I had spent 5 years working at the law firm, doing legal assistant work, bookkeeping, etc. But I knew when I went to school I would go into something health related. Very practically, I chose to start nursing prereqs at Seattle Central Community College. Here was my plan:

I would go to school and become a nurse. A nurse would be a good thing to be because when my husband wanted to move around the world, I would be able to work as a nurse no matter where we went. It offered flexibility and job security. It was health related, so it made sense.

Then school started. I accidentally took the wrong chemistry class - the one for pre-meds and chemistry majors, not nurses. But I loved it. And I remembered that in high school I loved chemistry, too. So I thought, "No nursing school for me. I want to be a scientist!"